“How much of this is hard because of the situation, and how much of it is hard because I am seeing it as hard or I am making it hard?” You might be surprised to find that struggle is the offspring of perception and projection more than reality. Then ask yourself, “If I were willing to let this be easy, how would I be approaching this differently?” If you can discover a vantage point even a bit freer than the one you have been holding, you will take a significant step from struggle to peace.” ~ Alan Cohen
I went golfing with a friend and learned that I was what Alan Cohen calls a “Hardaholic.” My friend got me to realize that for a woman I was a good golfer. My problem was my perception, I usually play with men who crush the ball and my other women role models are LPGA players on TV who also crush the ball. I do not crush the ball, yet neither did my friend and she had an amazing round of golf. She hit the ball down the fairway, chipped to the green and putted the ball in the hole. My perception was that I needed to crush the ball and hit it hard, when in reality; I need to come from a different vantage point and quit struggling to hit the ball far and work on accuracy. I was making the situation hard because of my perception of reality and in my reality I do not hit like a man or professional women golfers. Mindful living has me at peace on the golf course. During this round as I struggled, I never got upset or compared myself to the other golfers in my group who were all much better. I just enjoyed watching my friend play a terrific round of golf and I was happy for her. I loved being out in the sunshine and admiring the beauty of nature. But, I learned a great lesson today and I will approach the game from a different mindset and see if I can bring even more peace to the game. Always be open as you never know who will be your teacher and what lesson you will learn! Are there any areas of your life where you are a hardaholic? How can you change your perception so you can move from struggling to peace?
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“One of the most loving things you can do for another person is let them make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons and endure in the contrast of a life they don't really want. People only really change when they've hit rock bottom - sometimes the most loving thing you can do for a person is to let them and be there to help pick up the pieces. Permanent change comes from within, no one can give it to you." ~ Jackson Kiddard It is sometimes easier for us to look at someone else’s life and see what they need to do or not do, than to see what we need to do in our own life. We watch someone else spiraling out of control and just want to tell them what to do. But, we need to realize that we are watching their world, through our eyes. Our life and perspectives are different from theirs and we must understand we may not truly know what is best for them or their journey here on life. I have friends and family and it is difficult to watch them struggle – I don’t want them to experience pain. But, you know what, we all experience pain. From the major pain in my life, I have learned the biggest life lessons. I couldn’t learn from the words or advice of others, as that was an intellectual exercise and I was only in my head. I learned the most from actually experiencing something deeply. Plus, the rebel in me didn’t want to be told what to do. I had to learn the difficult lessons in life from within. I know that I had to learn the lessons myself and unfortunately my friends and family must learn their own lessons in their way. I offer help and assistance as I see fit, but let them know that I am there for them with a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. Do you let friends and family make their own mistakes? Do you agree or disagree with Jackson Kidders’ quote? “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends." ~ Mark Twain
I retired after thirty years in education. I thought I would have tons of free time to do everything I wanted to do. However, I feel busier than I did when I was working with my art, meditation instruction and practice, volunteering and daily life activities. I realized several years ago that I couldn’t say yes to all of the social and other opportunities that came my way. I am busy and I do socialize, however I have come up with criteria about what I will say yes to when an opportunity comes my way. You will need to determine your criteria, but tor me at this stage of my life, spirituality and creativity are my focus of attention. Therefore, if an opportunity comes along, I think about whether it will enhance me creatively or spiritually. If it doesn’t, I say, “No, I am unable to do that.” I used to think that I had to explain why I couldn’t do something and give a reason, but I have learned from the experts that I just need to say no without an explanation and detach from caring what others think about my answer of No. It wasn’t easy initially, for the pleaser in me, to say no, but with more practice I have gotten better and stronger at saying no. I am still busy, but I am doing things that nurture my soul with like minded-people on a spiritual and creative path. Do your friends support or belittle your ideas and plans? Are you able to say No? Do you have criteria for when to say Yes or No? “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better” ~Albert Einstein
Recently after going for a hike in nature, I was blissed out for the rest of the day. Everything went smoothly and seemed to sparkle. I wrote several blog entries from a place of pure inspiration. I was calm, peaceful and experiencing life from a place of centered awareness. Life was grand. I believe that one of the best antidotes for stress is nature. When I become aware that I am getting stressed out or depressed, I take a break in nature. I simply watch the hummingbirds and bees move from plant to plant serving their divine purpose. The flowers are blooming gloriously and the sun is shining brightly. They don’t appear to be struggling; nature teaches me the most important lesson and that is to go with the flow. It is nice if you live near a park, beach, or forest, but if you don’t, then find some place outside where you can spend a few minutes and take in nature, plants, birds, or animals. I just go to my backyard or take a walk in my neighborhood. Take a few minutes to explore with your senses - what do you smell, taste, feel, hear or see? Take a deep breath and slow your pace and just be with nature. And for a bigger dose of the calming effects of nature, plan some free time to go outside for a hike, walk on the beach, go to a local botanical garden, spend time at a lake, camp in the forest, or whatever nature activity brings you joy. How often do you spend time in nature? What do you learn when you are immersed in nature? Photography by William Walther WjW Photography "The wise know that too much doing and a thing won't get done. The secret to manifesting on the highest level is to find the perfect amount of doing and non-doing to allow the doing to be done. Sometimes much more can be accomplished simply by letting go and trusting." ~ Jackson Kiddard
We live in a society that attributes success to getting lots of things done. Many of us view ourselves and others based on the accomplishments of the day. We look at our endless “To Do” list and are happy when we have crossed off numerous items. However in having established a mindfulness and meditation practice, I no longer view “doing” as I once did. In fact, I think it is more important to “just be” during the day than to crossing things off my “To Do” list. I still have a “To Do” list, but it isn’t as important to me to cross things off as it to make sure that I was present and mindful as I do everything in my life. I feel successful at the end of the day not by looking at the quantity of things I have done, but to look at the amount of time I was focused on the task at hand and not thinking of something else while I was completing the task. Many times when we are washing dishes, cleaning, driving and our minds are thinking about the past or worried about the future. To many people, meditation seems like doing nothing, yet to me it accomplishes so much. Meditation first thing in the morning sets my day so that I approach the busyness from a state of stillness and I am much less reactive and calmer as I go about the day. During meditation I am “being” instead of “doing.” I am getting in touch with who I am at my core. It took a long time for me to learn to delegate. Many times I would want to control things and I thought that if I did the job that it would get done right and I would have thought of all of the things that might go wrong and I had them covered with back-up plans. I also thought that it would take me longer to explain how to do the task to someone than to just do it myself. But, I learned that Kiddard was right and that when I let go and trusted that the other person would do the job that more things were accomplished and I was less stressed and tired because I didn’t do it all. Plus, many times it ended up better because the other person did it in a way I hadn’t thought about and I had more time and energy to devote to the part I took responsibility for and the situation was a success. What is the perfect amount of “doing” and “non-doing” for you? Do you agree with the statement, “Sometimes much more can be accomplished simply by letting go and trusting?” Do you follow that philosophy? “I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. If you follow your bliss, doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.” ~ Joseph Campbell This week, I went on a hike with a friend in Honey Bee Canyon and we came upon the opening in the picture. We went through the opening and on the other side was a beautiful canyon. We could have been afraid and not gone through, but the bliss we found on the other side was our favorite part of the hike. Joseph Campbell’s philosophy to “follow your bliss” is one of my favorite life lessons. We weren’t frightened of the unknown and when we went through the door, we were well rewarded with nature in all its glory. I follow this philosophy when I paint, hike, ski, meditate, practice yoga and pretty much do anything. Someone asked me the other day, “are you always like this or just on a caffeine buzz?” and I realized that I live from a state of bliss. When you follow your bliss, the doors will open. They may not be the doors you were expecting to open; sometimes they will be more magnificent and exciting than the ones you were planning to go through. You can live your life being afraid and anxious or you can be open to the uncertainty and ambiguity of life and live it to its fullest. I choose to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer and express gratitude. Do you follow your bliss? Can you share a time when you followed your bliss and doors opened for you that you weren't expecting? “Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothings others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~Don Miguel Ruiz
How many times in our life have we said that someone did something to me and now I am sad, mad, or angry? For most of my life, I took things personally. I had a boss and she would say things to me and I would take them personally and be upset for hours, days, and sometimes a week. What a waste of time and energy. With the practice of meditation and mindfulness, I have come to see that I have a choice when someone says something to me. First, I try to become reflective and not immediately react. This doesn’t happen all of the time, but much more frequently now because of the mindfulness practice. Then, I examine if the statement rings true for me. If it is true, then I choose a course of action and resolve the situation and move on. However, as Don Miguel Ruiz states above, most of the time the statement is their issue and based on their projections of the world. Since the statement is usually about them, I let go of it and don’t suffer. We must realize that everyone is doing the best job they can at their current level of consciousness and they might not be as conscious as you. It is always important to remember that no one does anything to us. Something might happen. A person might say or do something. But we get to choose how to respond. You can choose to be sad, angry, or depressed because of what they said, but it is totally up to you. You are in the driver seat and the more you see the beautiful person you are on the inside, the less likely you will let the opinions of others ruin your day. It takes practice, but it is well worth the effort to bloom and live from this place grace and happiness. Do you take things personally? Do you blame others for how you feel? What can you do to become immune to the opinions of others? “Life is the opposite of school. In school we study and THEN get the test. In life, we get the test and then we learn.” Mastin Kipp
Everyday life is our "school." When we are pay attention, we can learn the most valuable lessons from everything that happens in our life. I don’t know about you, but I did not get a manual for life. We show up and things start happening. The most important thing that I have learned recently is that awareness is the key to being successful in life. If I am aware, I will see that something just happened and it triggered an emotional response. The response might be anger, joy, frustration, love, sadness, happiness and so many other possibilities. But, if I am aware, I can reflect and respond from consciousness instead of having a knee-jerk reactive response. I can bring compassion and equanimity to life’s tests. Meditation has helped me achieve a greater level of present-moment awareness. Life gives us many tests each and every day and we get to choose how to respond to these tests. I have learned from my tests in life that I suffer far less when I go with the flow of life instead of trying to battle the current and control situations. My days are more peaceful when I deal with challenges as opportunities for growth. I know that being on earth means that I will be presented with a multitude of tests; it is up to me to be conscious and aware of the opportunities to learn and grow. How do deal with the “tests” of life? In what ways could you improve your techniques for dealing with the tests and learn more efficiently? "It's more important to be kind than to be right." ~ Wayne Dyer I follow Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. It is a great book and a wonderful way to live life. Each day there is one specific law to observe. Wednesday is one of my favorite days because it is the Law of Least Effort. On this day we practice acceptance and take responsibility for our actions. We accept and surrender to whatever is happening at each moment. I don’t impose my will on Wednesday. It is a day that I don’t insert or assert and let go of trying to prove my point or convince others on my point of view. It truly is more important to be kind that to force my point of view on someone else. Wednesdays have taught me that when I give up the need to defend my point of view I am much calmer at the end of the day because I haven’t spent so much time and energy on this process. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a point of view, it means I listen and am open to other peoples point of view. It is amazing what you learn when you listen to other people’s points of view. You don’t have to accept them all, but you can learn so much about the other people and about yourself. And sometimes, those crazy people, with their crazy points of view have something to offer you. How important is it for you to be right? Is it more important to be kind than to be right? It's not your job to like me - it's mine. ~Byron Katie
Learning to like myself was one of the most difficult lessons in life for me to learn. I did everything I could to get the approval of others so that they would like me. I was a people pleaser and in my mind I would try to figure out what I could say or do to get everyone to like me. What I didn’t realize until later in life was that I needed to like myself and that was all that mattered. At one point in my life, I was fortunate to have been selected as the Student Regent of the Arizona Board of Regents. It was a valuable lesson for me because, as a people pleaser, I was going to make a lot of people unhappy. I did not have thick skin, yet I would open the University and local newspapers and see caricature pictures of my head on a stealth bomber and read negative things about myself. I learned that in every decision we made, we would upset a portion of the population and they did not like me. I learned to make the best decision possible and detach from what people said about me and how they felt about me. Now, I come from a place of authenticity and don’t worry about getting other’s approval. I learned to like myself and love myself. Do you like yourself? What do you do and how do you react when someone doesn’t like you or says something negative about you? Burt Goldman shares these Five Rules of Happiness 1. If you like something, enjoy it. 2. If you don’t like something, avoid it. 3. If you don’t like something and can’t avoid it, change it. 4. If you can’t or choose not to (important distinction there!) avoid or change something you don’t like, then accept it. 5. You accept something by changing your perception of it. In my art studio, I have posted many quotes and concepts to inspire and center me. The quote above is one of my favorites. It has five easy, yet profound steps. We want to make sure that we keep doing the things we enjoy and make time in our busy lives to do things we enjoy. The second step seems obvious, but if you don’t like doing something, then don’t do. We need to ask ourselves why do we continue to do something we don’t enjoy, and if we can stop doing it, then by all means, don’t do it any longer. One of the things that I came to realize is that there is a finite amount of time in the day and I can’t do everything or be with everyone. I decided what was most important to me and was focusing on spirituality and creativity. Now, I spend my time and energy getting together with friends who enhance life spiritually and creatively. I now say NO to those activities that don’t enrich my spiritualty and creativity. It is important to look at your life and see what you can eliminate. But, there are things in life that we can’t avoid. I know that it is important to go to the Dentist every six months; I can’t change that. Okay, I could change that and not go, but I don’t want gum disease. I love the important distinction that Goldman points out – I get to choose. So many times in life, we feel that we don’t have a choice, but we actually do. I now have changed my perception of going to the Dentist. I no longer dread or fear it, but now look at it as a time to practice mindfulness. I practice my breathing techniques while I am there. I see that the universe is giving me time to practice deep breathing and relaxing my body. Plus, I really love my dental hygienist and Dentist, so I get to hear what is going on in their lives which is very uplifting. Changing my perception makes the situation much better. How can you employ Goldman’s Five Rules of Happiness in your life? "This one is very easily misunderstood. People might think that it means that whatever happens they should just accept it. No one is saying just accept it. Ultimately it means realizing how things are and finding ways to be in a wise relationship with them and then act out of that clarity of vision." ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
Acceptance and surrender are often difficult for people because they feel that they are “giving in.” But you are not giving in; you are not saying that what happened was okay. What you are doing is acknowledging that the situation happened, you are accepting that this is the way things are at this moment. From that level of acceptance, you get to choose how to respond to the situation. You accept and release the struggle and suffering that we tend to dwell in for too long. I accept that my house was burglarized. It doesn’t mean that I liked it. However, I get to choose my reaction and how I will live my life. I will not live in fear daily that the burglars will come back. If my house is every burglarized again, I will deal with it then, but I will not waste energy worrying. I did things to protect my house. I got an alarm and a more secure door. I acted from a place of wisdom and moved on. Think of a situation in your life that you are still hanging on to. How can you practice acceptance of what happened and move on? Photography by William Walther WjW Photography “When you’re catastrophizing, you magnify the importance of something that’s happening or something that didn’t go the way you wanted it to. It’s as if you’re looking at the experience through binoculars, which blows it all out of proportion.” ~ Toni Bernhard J.D.
The phone rings, it’s your husband’s ring tone. He never calls during the day. And the first things that pop into your head are all bad – he’s been in an accident, he’s at the hospital, he’s had a heart attack. You have jumped to all sort of negative conclusions before you even answered the phone. Then you answer it and he’s actually calling for something good, he wants to take you out for dinner. This is what happens to many of us, we catastrophize. We take a current situation, the phone is ringing, and we give it a truly negative spin. Many years ago, a friend at work called me out on the fact that I was catastrophizing about some situation at work. I was totally unaware that I was doing that with so many things in my life. It was a terrible way to approach the world; my ego was trying to protect me so that when bad things didn’t happen, I was relieved, but it was not a good way to live. I was seeing the glass as half empty. Brene Brown tells us, “the problem is, worrying about things that haven't happened doesn't protect us from pain. Ask anyone who has experienced a tragedy; they'll tell you there is no way to prepare.” We must be mindful that we are magnifying the situation out of proportion and imaging that a catastrophe is upon us. Mindfulness is the key, now when I notice that I am catastrophizing, I stop and evaluate what is truly happening in this moment, not what might happen, but what is really happening. I stop the process and don’t jump to any conclusions. As in the case above, I answer the phone. If something “bad” did happen, I will deal with it then, but I will stop putting negative thoughts in my head, because as we all know “thoughts become things.” I live in the present moment. Do you ever Catastrophize? If yes, what steps can you take stop jumping to conclusions and lessen the worry in your life? Photography by William Walther WjW Photography "Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted." ~ Christine Caine
In the last blog, we talked about “problems” and the need to look at “problems” as opportunities for growth. When I look back at my life, many of the things that I viewed as “problems” or “bad” situations were actually the places that I had the most growth in my life. When I was immersed in these times I labeled as “dark” I was not fully present, I got sucked into the troubles and drama. Now, I see the abuses of my childhood as places that transformed me. As I dealt with the issues of abuse as an adult, I found art as a way to release my anger. Art balanced me and I loved putting paint to paper as a way to release the dark place in my life. The seed for art was planted and so I took formal classes in art to learn how to effectively use this raw talent I was discovering. I wouldn’t wish abuse on anyone, but I see that I am a more resilient person because of the experience and now I am an artist. Are there any dark places from your life that have been the seeds to transformation? How can you stay present when you start to feel you are in a "dark place" and see this in a different frame of light? Photography by William Walther WjW Photography "The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
-- Theodore Rubin
How we think about “problems” is really critical to how we view life and the amount of time we struggle and suffer. We will all have “problems” in our life; it is part of the human experience. I share with people that meditation does not eliminate stress, but it changes how you react to stress; with a daily meditation practice you are reflective and you view “problems” or “challenges” as opportunities for growth. When we surrender to the flow of life and we are living in the present moment, we can accept that this is how life is at this moment. It may not be what you planned, but you can look at the current situation as a problem and waste your energy and time complaining about it, or you can recognize that it happened and ask, “How can I learn and grow from this?” Acceptance of the present moment doesn't mean that you have passive resignation towards the “problem.” It provides you the opportunity to be conscious, get grounded, and take appropriate action for how you want your highest self to respond to this situation. Think of a recent “problem” or challenge. How did you react and spend your time and energy with this situation? How can you deal with “problems in the future? “The loudest arguments happen in your own head, and your greatest opponent, is yourself.” Mike Dooley – TUT
I used to beat myself up and criticize myself all of the time. I was my own worst enemy. At the end of the day where I had accomplished a lot and been of service to many, I could only remember the few things I did wrong and not the numerous things I had done right. And if I thought it was major, I could beat myself up for days or longer. If someone else beat me up as badly as I did to myself, I would have called him or her abusive and not tolerated their behavior, but it took me a long time to realize what I was doing to myself. Mindfulness has really helped me to stop beating myself up. I have learned to accept and surrender. I was doing the best I could at the time. If at the end of the day, I was unhappy about something I did, I would accept that I had done it and come up with a plan for how to deal with that type of situation in the future. I would learn from the circumstance and let go. Do you criticize yourself? If yes, how can you be less critical and more supportive? “When guilt rears its ugly head confront it, discuss it and let it go. The past is over. ... Forgive yourself and move on.”
~ Bernie S. Siegel
Guilt is such a waste of time and energy, yet I have wasted many precious moments of my life seeped in guilt for things I did or didn’t do. The past is over, there is only now. When I feel guilt now, I look at the situation and face it head on. If I need to apologize, I apologize sincerely and move on. I cannot change the past or what I did, but I can accept responsibility for my actions. We are all doing the best we can at any given moment. We are human and we make mistakes. The important lesson is to learn and grow from our mistakes and if my actions hurt others then it is my responsibility to rectify the situation instead of dwelling in guilt. I lived in a family that used guilt as a motivator. I was susceptible to the “guilt trips” my parents used to get me to do things and be a “good girl.” I have learned that no one can make me feel guilty. I get to choose how I respond to what is said to me. I have learned that at my core, I am good enough and I do not have to succumb to guilt as a manipulation tool to get me to do things. How do you deal with guilt? Are you still hanging on to guilt from your past? How can you confront it and release it? Photography by William Walther WjW Photography "Love is total acceptance of what is.” ~Mastin Kipp
Today is Valentine’s Day, the day of love. Let's face it, I am not perfect. You are not perfect. Our “valentine” is not perfect, but if you accept the person for who they are, don’t try to change them, and love them unconditionally, your love is perfect. This moment is perfect, it is all there is, and we only have NOW. So on this Valentine’s Day, give the ones you love, your unconditional love, with total acceptance for who they are at this moment. When we live out of fear, we are not accepting things as they are. We can wish things were different, but total acceptance means surrendering to this present moment. We can wish people were different or behaved differently, but we cannot change others. On this Valentine’s Day, and every day, open your heart, practice compassion and forgiveness. Celebrate your relationships with laughter and love. Revel in the bliss of the harmony of love. Do you have total acceptance for your life as it is? Do you give and receive unconditional love? "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines." ~Robert Schuller
We all have problems; it is part of the journey of life. It is how you view the problems in your life that makes all the difference in the world. If you view the problems as obstacles and stop signs, then you will forever live in the “poor me” mentality of blaming yourself or others for the misfortunes in your life. If however, you look at problems as opportunities for growth, then you will live with more ease in your life. You will not waste time and energy being upset and angry, and be able to move ahead in a positive frame of mind. The problems in our life can be the guidelines to direct us on a new path or in a new direction if we are open to the infinite possibilities. Viewing problems as opportunities is not always easy and is a new mindset for many of us. Whenever I encounter an obstacle, I ask myself “what am I supposed to learn from this?” I try to reframe the situation and find the path of least resistance to move ahead in my life. I surrender and go with the flow. Do you view problems as stop signs or guidelines? Can you think of a recent problem that provided an opportunity for growth?
We are busy; we rush from one activity to the next. I am retired and prior to retirement, I thought I would have lots of “free” time when I was retired. I am happy to say that I fill my hours now doing things I love, but I still find myself rushing from one activity to the next.
With a meditation and mindfulness practice, I pause between activities and appreciate what I have done or was able to experience. Anna Quindlen is right, we must be present in our lives to appreciate the precious moments that occur. We have to make time to be quiet and express gratitude for all we have. We must make time in our life each day to become aware of the “glittering mica” in our lives. How can you teach yourself to pay attention to the precious moments in your life? How can you make time for yourself? Photography by William Walther WjW Photography “To complain is always non-acceptance of what is” Eckhart Tolle
The other day, the blog was about the concept of “It is what it is” and complaining goes along with that concept. As Eckhart Tolle elegantly states above, when you are complaining you are not accepting life as it is. This is one of the areas that I am working on, accepting things as they are and not complaining. I am trying to catch myself before I start to complain. However, since this is a life-long habit that I am trying to break, it takes time. I don’t beat myself up if I have complained, I notice that I complained and work on accepting the situation as it is and ask myself what can I learn from this situation. Awareness is always the key. I am aware that I am complaining and I adjust my attitude and ways. Recently, I was at the post office and the line was out the door. I was there to pick up a package and I learned that there was a much shorter line for just picking up packages, so I moved to that line. Our line only had one attendant and she was having difficulties. I realized I should have stayed in the original long line and I would have been finished in thirty minutes instead of the forty it took me. As the time ticked away, I started to get frustrated as I had other things to do and in my mind I was complaining (complaining with your thoughts is non-acceptance of what is too). The woman in front of me started to complain out loud as she had made it to the front of the line with her form from the mailman only to learn that she had to have a drivers license, so she was back in our line after going to her car to get her license. And then everyone started to join in the complaining. That was when I became aware that I was complaining and not accepting of what was happening and going with the flow. It changed my attitude and I took a few deep breaths and relaxed my shoulders that were tensing up and became amused. I smiled at the attendant as you could tell she was frustrated too because the hold up was that she was trying to help the man whose passport was not delivered to his house, yet the tracking sad it had been delivered somewhere else and I don’t think she knew what to do. At that point, I asked myself, what am I supposed to learn and I came up with patience and acceptance of what is. This was another opportunity for me to practice acceptance and not complaining. I have learned that I keep getting lots of opportunities to practice a skill until I master it. I know that complaining is negative energy. In the big scheme of things, this was nothing to get upset about or bring negative energy into my body. The attendant was doing the best job she could, I really don’t think she came to work today and said “I am going to make everyone’s lives miserable by going really slow.” So, I felt compassion for her. Maybe that delay caused me from getting in a car accident, I never know. This will not be the last long line I am in. I hope next time I practice acceptance from the beginning. Select a day and see how often you complain in speech or thought.
"Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art" ~ Leonardo da Vinci I am taking an abstract art class with Josh Goldberg at the Drawing Studio and he shared the quote above, which I find to be quite true about anything creative we do. If you love to paint, sing, write, photograph, dance, garden, quilt, cook, play music, make crafts, draw or something else creative, you must do it from a grounded state of awareness where you connect to your soul. I am an artist and I could just dip a paintbrush into paint and apply it to the canvas, but it would not be art. I must release my ego and empty my mind and connect to my deepest self. Josh shared with us that “an empty mind creates creative opportunities.” This is why I like to meditate prior to painting; it clears my mind and I can be open to the infinite possibilities. I paint from my heart and soul and not my head. Do you connect to spirit when you are in your creative mode? How could you deepen your connect to spirit during creative endeavors? Photography by William Walther WjW Photography “Fame or integrity: which is more important? Money or happiness: which is more valuable? Success or failure: which is more destructive? If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~ Lao-tzu
I am not in control. This has been a long and tough lesson for me and I am still working on it, but making progress. From early childhood on, I tried to do everything possible to control a situation so everything would go perfectly and everyone would be happy. Does that sound familiar to you? Did it work as well for you as it did for me? I have come to appreciate that I am not in control and life is so much easier when I go with the flow and accept things as they are in this moment. I adopted the phrase, “It is what it is” as a way of life during a three-year period when I was dealing with a frozen shoulder. One day, the shoulder was making more popping noises than it usually did and I asked the doctor if that was good or bad. The amazing and insightful, Dr. Ron Andelora said, “It is what it is.” He said it isn’t a sign of anything good or bad, it is just what your shoulder is doing today. That phrase helped me to put all of life into perspective. When I become aware that I am judging a situation as good or bad, I stop myself and say, “it is what it is” and accept that this is how things are right now. Then, I decide if I there is anything I can do about it, or just surrender and go with the flow. Lao-tzu is correct that we need to be content with what we have and rejoice. Nothing is lacking. Do you try to control things in your life or go with the flow? Are there areas in your life that you might adopt the “it is what it is” philosophy? Are you content with your life? Are you lacking in any ways? “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” ~Brene Brown
I recently attended a memorial service for a friend, and her son read a leader that she had written, as the principal of a school, to the administration of the district. In the letter she was standing up for what she believed to be the best thing to do for students. She spoke from the heart and was her authentic self and fought for something she was passionate about even though it went against a directive given to her. The story has a happy ending as she won the battle. We must all choose our battles to win the war. The story reminded me how important it is to be authentic. It isn’t easy to go against the grain and ruffle feathers. However, it isn’t good for us to silence and stuff our feelings and follow like sheep. I am a person who doesn’t like conflict, and I know that I didn't always stand up to authority and fight for what I knew was best. But, that is what life is all about, we do the best we can and then learn and grow. This was a good reminder that I need to show up and be authentic to make a difference. In our hearts, we know what is the best thing to do in any situation if we are making conscious choices. The key is to show up, be aware, and put forth our authentic self. Thank you Sue for being an amazing role model for so many, and for reminding us to be more authentic and stand up for the things we are passionate about in life. Do you stand up for what you believe? Are you authentic? What can you do to show up and be real more often in your life? "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
Annie Dillard
Years ago, I learned an important lesson to make each day precious because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I had lunch with a friend who was winning her battle with cancer. I came to work the next day only to learn that she had passed away hours after our lunch from an embolism. We had been planning all sorts of great things we were going to do and she was upbeat and optimistic about the future, and then her life was over. It made me realize that we are all going to die and that we must make the most of each day and each moment. I am so grateful that I made time to have lunch with that friend and that I learned that lesson. It is important to look at how we spend each day, because it is how we spend our lives. Mindfulness is about being aware in each moment. Many times in our lives, we are worrying about the future and what might happen or we are reliving the past and rehashing old grievances. We only have this moment and we should make the most of it. Whenever you find yourself having thoughts about the past or future, bring your attention and awareness to the present moment. Cherish each moment! How are you spending your days? Is it how you want to spend your life? Are there any things you want to focus more energy and time on during each day? Are there any things you want to let go of to have a better life? |
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Peggy Steffens is an artist and Chopra Certified Meditation Instructor My goal is to build a community with like-minded individuals who want to grow, share and learn from one another. Please post comments to enrich the experience for all.
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