Are you a Hardaholic?

3/25/2016

“How much of this is hard because of the situation, and how much of it is hard because I am seeing it as hard or I am making it hard?” You might be surprised to find that struggle is the offspring of perception and projection more than reality. Then ask yourself, “If I were willing to let this be easy, how would I be approaching this differently?” If you can discover a vantage point even a bit freer than the one you have been holding, you will take a significant step from struggle to peace.” ~ Alan Cohen

I went golfing with a friend and learned that I was what Alan Cohen calls a “Hardaholic.” My friend got me to realize that for a woman I was a good golfer. My problem was my perception, I usually play with men who crush the ball and my other women role models are LPGA players on TV who also crush the ball. I do not crush the ball, yet neither did my friend and she had an amazing round of golf. She hit the ball down the fairway, chipped to the green and putted the ball in the hole. My perception was that I needed to crush the ball and hit it hard, when in reality; I need to come from a different vantage point and quit struggling to hit the ball far and work on accuracy. I was making the situation hard because of my perception of reality and in my reality I do not hit like a man or professional women golfers.

Mindful living has me at peace on the golf course. During this round as I struggled, I never got upset or compared myself to the other golfers in my group who were all much better. I just enjoyed watching my friend play a terrific round of golf and I was happy for her. I loved being out in the sunshine and admiring the beauty of nature. But, I learned a great lesson today and I will approach the game from a different mindset and see if I can bring even more peace to the game. Always be open as you never know who will be your teacher and what lesson you will learn!

Are there any areas of your life where you are a hardaholic?

How can you change your perception so you can move from struggling to peace?

4 Comments

Author

Peggy Steffens is an artist and Chopra Certified Meditation Instructor

My goal is to build a community with like-minded individuals who want to grow, share and learn from one another. Please post comments to enrich the experience for all.

Amy

3/26/2016 06:59:47 am

I think I could describe myself as a hardaholic when I try doing the plank in my yoga class. A bunch of people, a lot older than me, can hold the position a lot longer than I can. I've talked negatively to myself about this fact. I need to just be proud of myself for trying and work in baby steps to improve.

Peggy

3/26/2016 09:05:52 am

That is another place to practice looking at things from a different perspective. We should never compare ourselves to anyone in yoga. We all have different bodies. You should be very proud that you are practicing yoga and that you can even do a plank pose. Don't struggle in yoga poses, but come from a place of ease. Thank you for this reminder!

Kathy

3/26/2016 07:09:10 am

I was on this round of golf with Peggy and she is a wonderful golfer! I enjoyed watching her confidence build as we went further into the round. On th first tee she boomed her drive into,the fairway while I and the two men we were paired with watched!! Now that's a little pressure. She didn't even flinch! We had such a fun and relaxing time. I find when I am with someone I really enjoy being with and who is also relaxed I have my best rounds of golf.....and that was the case here, I hit my best round of golf ever! Thanks Peggy! Yes, surrounding yourself with like minded people is a great gift!

3/26/2016 09:09:50 am

I am so happy that you had one of your best rounds of golf. Even though you were playing so well, you made me feel at ease and I didn't feel the need to compete with or as in the comment above even compare myself with you and your game of golf. It is all how we approach life or a round of golf. I was present in each moment and relishing reconnecting with a new old friend of 40 years.

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