“Don't let people who don't matter too much, matter too much.” ~ Wes Moore
I was recently watching Super Soul Sunday and Oprah was interviewing Wes Moore and he made the statement above and it was a good reminder that I worry too often about what others think. I fell victim to this again recently when I was in a golf tournament. I am relatively new to golf and my husband asked me to join him in a scramble tournament. In scramble format, all players tee off, choose the best shot, and all play their next shots from the location of the best shot. I did not know the other players in the team and I did not want to let them down because of my skill level. I once again was getting worried about what others would think of me.
Prior to the day of the event, I practiced at the tournament course and did terrible – I got mad, cussed worse than Melissa McCarthy in her movie The Heat and even threw a club. Even though I meditate daily and practice mindfulness, I am still human and lose my cool (not as much as I used to, but it still happens). After the round of golf and reflecting that I was not living in a mindful and peaceful manner, I knew that I needed to journal about the experience. Awareness is the key, and I was aware that this was atrocious behavior that I wanted to change. As I journaled, I realized that I was not living in the present moment, I was worried about what others would think of me and I was returning to one of my old core beliefs that I was not good enough. Remembering that I took up golf as a fun way to spend time with my husband, enjoy nature and live in the present moment, I knew that I needed to follow that philosophy for the tournament. I also realized I was worrying about people I will probably never see again in my life and I was letting what they thought of me matter way too much.
This story has a happy ending as I had a blast at the tournament. I set my intention to do my best and detach from the outcome. No, we didn’t win the tournament, but we weren’t in last place either. I was quite surprised that we used my shot as the best one more times than I ever imagined. I might not hit the ball far, but I hit it straight and with the advantage from the women’s tees I had some drives that we used, along with some chips and putts. I even won the closest to the pin challenge for women (okay it was mostly men in the tournament, but I got a new pair of golf shoes out of it so I was happy), I won a $50 raffle prize and $15.00 at the Casino. I lived in the present moment, enjoyed the beautiful course and the fun times with my husband and the other two men in our team. I never cussed, threw my clubs, or got upset. For me, this was a great reminder to let go of what others think of me, to do my best each and every day and detach from the outcome.
Do you ever let people who don’t matter too much, matter too much?
What could you do to let go of worrying about what others think about you?
Peggy Steffens is an artist and Chopra Certified Meditation Instructor
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