“I would say I was always very ambitious and goal-oriented, but rather than being just a go-getter hustler, now I surrender a lot more and I trust my path a lot more.” ~ Jenna Dewan
I was going through old notebooks and found a piece of advice from a friend that got me through a difficult time at work. During that time in my life, I didn’t have a mindfulness practice, yet he taught me an important mindfulness practice to surrender and let go because I didn’t have control. My friend got me to read a great book Now, Discover Your Strengths by Buckingham and Clifton and I learned that two of my deep strengths are responsibility and achiever. Responsibility and achiever are good strengths to have in the work place. I took full responsibility for each task I was given and the achiever in me wanted to do the best job possible. But, my friend pointed out that for my psychological safety I needed to look at the situation that was causing me to suffer and realize that many things were WAY outside of my control. He got me to comprehend that I couldn’t own the pieces that I didn’t have control over and it was important to separate myself from the things I didn’t have control over. In work situations there can be may be issues with politics, bosses, their bosses, co-workers, technology, software, and other things to numerable to list. I had to let go of beating myself up when all of my hard work wasn’t making a difference. He told me to TRUST that everything would work out. I still worked very hard and did the best I could, but I let go of my expected outcome - it made a huge difference in my attitude and sanity. Now seven years later, I realize how valuable the advice was - it was just the beginning of learning to trust in a power greater than myself and to learn to surrender and go with the flow when you aren’t in control. And we are never in control. I am so grateful to have received the advice so that I survived and thrived during a difficult time. I am also grateful to now have a mindfulness practice that focuses on those key concepts of acceptance, surrender and trusting the path. What are your greatest strengths? How do you take care of your psychological safety when things in your life are outside of your control?
5 Comments
Peggie
7/21/2016 06:01:44 pm
Ah, how appropriate to read this post today. You even included water! Responsibility and control are familiar to me. Responsibility serves me well. Control is another beast. I am leaving shortly for a canoe trip and my responsible self has tried to be prepared as possible. I do feel out of control because my skill set in this area isn't strong. This is causing some apprehension and I'm trying to be mindful of it as well as the fun and excitement. It's good to be a life-long learner!!!!
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Peggy
7/21/2016 06:27:40 pm
Peggie,
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Peggie
7/24/2016 09:49:00 pm
My canoe trip was a great experience with four other amazing ladies. Relinquishing control was easier than I thought it would be. I think my novice status contributed to letting go. That and deciding in advance to let go. I am going to be more mindful of the freedom of being a novice. It's a lot of fun!
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Amy G
7/22/2016 04:04:48 pm
I enjoy your musings. It's very hard for me to let go of control, but I am learning.One strategy I have is to sleep on it. This gives me time to reflect on the situation or person I'm trying to control, and usually that helps me release myself. Sometimes I just have to walk away before I open my mouth. My biggest strengths are compassion and empathy. I definitely wear my emotions on my sleeve, which is not necessarily a good trait to have, but my feelings are always are so deep they readily show.
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Peggy
7/23/2016 02:28:07 pm
Amy,
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Peggy Steffens is an artist and Chopra Certified Meditation Instructor My goal is to build a community with like-minded individuals who want to grow, share and learn from one another. Please post comments to enrich the experience for all.
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