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Musings on Meditation and Art

Is what you say necessary?

10/14/2016

2 Comments

 
Picture
“Is it true; is it kind, or is it necessary?” ~Socrates
 
It has been more than a year since I attended a silent retreat.  I loved the week in silence and I realized how much talk is unnecessary.  But, when I returned to the real world that talks incessantly, I fell victim to jumping in to conversations and adding things.  I have noticed that when I am aware and focusing on being a good listener, that I say a lot less.
 
I am fortunate to have an amazing group of seven women friends from elementary school and high school.  We all now live in different cities and states, but for the last 16 years we have been getting together once a year in different places.  Each year we are so excited to see each other and  hear about everything that everyone is doing that conversations become fast and furious.  Last weekend when were together, we were having a lively conversation and one friend pointed out that she was unable to finish a story because we kept interrupting her with questions and comments. And she was right.  We weren’t being good listeners, we kept taking the conversations off on different tangents and the person talking was not able to share the complete story.
 
At that point, I remembered the lesson that I learned from the silent retreat about being mindful in conversations.  Before I speak, I will remember to ask myself these questions:
  • Is it true?
  • Is it kind?
  • Is it necessary?
 
In most cases, what I am going to say is true and kind, but is not necessary. I realized that I need to be more present in conversations and truly listen to what the other person is saying and not let my mind wander to what I want to say or jump in with questions. This was another reminder that silence is golden and I need to be present in conversations and listen more than I speak.
 
Are you conscious during conversations or is your mind wandering to what you want to say or ask?
 
Try implementing asking your self  “Is it true; is it kind, or is it necessary?” when you are involved in conversations.  What happens?


2 Comments
Anita Howard
10/15/2016 07:12:27 am

Glad to get this reminder again. Just last. Igor we were at someone's house and I realized we were competing to talk. Crazy! Thanks for the reminder.

Reply
Peggy
10/15/2016 02:54:08 pm

Anita,
You are so right, sometimes I get so excited that I become oblivious to we are competing to talk.

Another thing that a friend reminded me is if we are dealing with anyone with short term memory issues that these interruptions and questions are really difficult for them. They can't remember where they started and what they were trying to communicate, so we really need to pay attention to everything in the conversation.

Thanks for sharing!
Peggy

Reply



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    Peggy Steffens is an artist and Chopra Certified Meditation Instructor


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  • Home
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